Grace When You Are Unraveling

“In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears.” Psalm 18:6

Some of our greatest griefs are when others depend on us being strong, but we’re falling apart. I have to be strong as a dad and husband, as a pastor and friend. To be able to be trusted in feels good. What happens when others depend upon me but I’m unraveling, my heart aches or has become numb, or I find little rest in my mind?

There are people who need me. If I lose sight of my Lord’s grace, my pride will let that sentence make sense. People need me. Am I sovereign over creation? Where was I when God laid the foundations of the world (Job 38:4)? Do I have secret wisdom that I alone can give? Do I alone have power that God’s creation depends on and needs?

Although the Lord uses me to be a means of grace to others, encouraging them in the faith, discipling or caring or comforting or counseling or teaching, the Lord does not need me. Rather, I need Him. No moment teaches this glorious truth of my need for God than when I am unraveling, breaking, falling apart in the midst of others depending upon me.

When others need me rather than God in and through me, that is a problem. I don’t have the energy, strength, wisdom, or ability that God alone has. If I am not dependent upon God, and celebrate that dependence on Him, then I will unravel and break apart. 

However, in your distress, in your unraveling, you call open the Lord for help. Your tearful pleas reach His ears. He doesn’t turn away from you simply because you are unraveling. He knows those depending on you to be strong are in need. He is the only Savior. He comforts, guides, counsels, corrects, teaches, loves. 

Parents who struggle, knowing you are depended upon, remember to depend upon the Lord yourself. Pray. You don’t need eloquence, just a cry for help. When you are needed at work and needed at home, remember you are in need of the Lord’s help. When life, relationships, jobs, money, whatever wears you down, depend less on those things to sustain you. God’s grace sustains you and preserves His people (Psalm 55:22).

Are you unraveling now? Weep. The Lord who will wipe away tears for the last time (Revelation 21:4) hears your cry for help from His temple. He draws near the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He mends. Are you growing weary in doing good? Remember Galatians 6 is about carrying each other’s burdens as a church family, directing our attention to depend upon God together. God has given us each other to depend upon Him, and we rejoice in our dependence upon Him together.

Heavenly Father, forgive us for believing in our own strength and ability, as well as our pride believing we are needed. You are needed Lord. For the sake of others, bless us by Your mercies. For the sake of Your name, hear our cries in times of distress, rescue, lift, and carry us. May You be glorified in and through us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

The kind of negativity you need in your life

Our culture promotes selfish pride to the point that any confrontation of error or wrongdoing is immediately thrown into the category of the unloving, rude, and judgmental. Even non-believers quote, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

Little do people realize that in Matthew 7, as Jesus is ending His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is teaching His disciples how to judge! Not as hypocrites, but in repentance. "Remove the log in your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of other people's eyes."

This goes with what Paul taught in Galatians. "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently." Jesus and Paul taught that Christians confront one another in our sins, both in repenting from sin ourselves AND with the heart of reconciliation, restoring people in error or wrongdoing gently.

When Jesus confronts me in my feeble attempts to manipulate others so I can maintain a sin, He does so out of love. He won't let me get away with living in the comfort of my own make-believe world when He has true happiness in His mercy for me. Sure, my flesh feels the pain and misery of it, but Jesus confronts me for His glorious purpose.

When Jesus sends others to confront me in my error or wrongdoing, I need to remember that I am a sinner, that I don't know everything nor do I have everything figured out, and that Jesus confronts my sin because He loves me.

Why would Jesus and His followers confront me in my error and wrongdoing?

1) That I may have happiness in being conformed to His image.
You will never be satisfied and happy having things your way. You will always want more and more.

True happiness is not found where I naturally look for it: pursuing the endless cravings of my flesh, looking in dark corners for love, peace, and happiness. True happiness is found resting in my Savior, surrendering my all to Him and trusting His steadfast love, peace, and joy.

Being more like Jesus means God confronts our error and wrongdoing so that we turn away from our sin and having things our own way, trusting that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

2) That I may have discernment to see splinters in other sinners' lives; not as a judge, but as a wretch who loves the gospel, the gospel of Jesus who came into the world to save sinners, whom I am the foremost.

The local church is a gospel community to display the love of God as Spirit-filled people. Christian maturity is not a road where it is just me and my Bible. I am confronted by Jesus and His church in my error and wrongdoing, not only for myself, but that I may make mature disciples of others who in turn will also make other mature disciples.

The local church is a family of sinners saved by grace. Jesus made us to need Him and to need one another for encouragement and the building up of one another as mature followers of Jesus.

3) To avoid the negativity of continuing on in sin without repentance, mistaking my comfort for being in God's favor. We find ourselves comfortable away from God's presence when hiding sin, living in a make-believe world we have created for ourselves that tells us that independent strength and words of empowerment is a sign of spiritual maturity. In reality, this isn't strength but a lie.

We broken sinners have the amazing ability to deceive ourselves into comfort with sin. We make-believe that it is strength that we can handle our sin in private, away from God's means of grace in His gospel community of a local church. We hear the echoes of demonic advice from the world: "You don't need that kind of negativity in your life."

We hide our sin, thinking we don't need to learn anything from God nor do we need to be exposed as broken as we truly are. When the prophet Isaiah was confronted by God's awesome presence in Isaiah 6, he immediately yelled out, "I am a man of unclean lips!" When Peter realized that Jesus is the Messiah of God, he cried out, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"

We don't want that kind of negativity in our lives! We have enough stress than to be concerned with the holiness of God. We exhaust ourselves by trying to find things in this world to empower us to continue on in life without Jesus, but in the end we are ruined and leave a wake of ruined relationships behind us, including our relationship with God.

Truth is, you do need that kind of negativity in your life. Jesus' exposure of our sin and brokenness is not out of cold rudeness and a strange delight in embarrassing us, but as holy light to reveal who we truly are. Jesus has grace to heal what He exposes in us, with a commitment to love us even though we are unworthy and ugly.

How should we as followers of Jesus handle being confronted in error or wrongdoing?

1) Don't get angry and outraged at the people confronting your sin. Rather, get angry and outraged at sin. In our make-believe world where we have strength and don't need others, we will label the goodness and love of God in a faithful, healthy church that teaches us God's Word which confronts our pride and hidden sin as "church hurt."

I do know "church hurt" is real. Pastors who teach false doctrine, unchallenged sin in churches that feud, gossip, and actively splitting people into groups. People get hurt from such churches. That's not the type of "church hurt" I'm referring to here.

If a Christian gently but firmly tells you the truth of God's Word with a desire to restore you to God and calling for you to turn from your sin, that's love not "church hurt." When our make-believe world gets surrounded by God, we feel threatened and want to get angry and outraged at others in order to justify our sinful life. We don't want God to invade the fortress we have built around our hearts, lest we be exposed as broken and sinful.

Fight for joy by being angry and outraged by your own sin. Be thankful to God for the light of His Word that reveals the dark spots of error and wrongdoing in your heart. Turn from those things to find true happiness in the Lord Jesus.

2) Be teachable. This requires the humility of being a good listener. You don't know everything about God, about holiness, about your own life and what's best for you. God does, and He sends folks in His gospel community to help us for our good and His glory.

Pride is such the evil that in our make-believe world we do not need to be taught or confronted about anything. Our culture says nothing is wrong, so no wisdom is needed and no sin is left to be confronted. Wrongdoing and the lack of wisdom is what other people need.

The follower of Jesus has the humility to realize we lack wisdom and need to be taught God's truth.

3) Remember grace. With new eyes of faith, we see clearly the fierce chaos of life. We must remember that all of life, including our faith in Jesus becoming more and more mature, is in the merciful, sovereign hand of God. Remember His faithfulness when you feel the sorrow and guilt of your faithlessness. Remember His steadfast love when your love is cold and failing.

Dear reader, my prayer is that your heart is pierced by God's Word, not simply for pain, but for the joy of true healing in the good news message of Jesus our Lord. You must be a committed part of the fellowship of a healthy local church, a gospel community. The teaching of God's Word, reminder of His grace and faith to His promises, and yes gently confronting of error and wrongdoing in each others' lives is exactly the kind of negativity you need in your life.

Be a Light in Darkness

“The people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light, and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, on them a light has dawned.” –Matthew 4:16

God describes the very good world He created that is spun into sin and brokenness and “darkness” and the place of the “shadow of death.” This dark place is home for us. It is familiar to us. We are accustomed its chill, its cold silence, its brokenness. So, the world thinks it normal that the hatred, violence, pride, death, and the splitting humans into categories is a good thing.

Christians are all blind people who have had their vision restored now walking in light (Ephesians5:8). We see the darkness for what it is: evil and blind. With heaviness in our hearts do we traverse this valley of the shadow of death, pushing forward with the Bible as light in the path of this dark world and knowing God is with us.

Our temptation is to yell into the darkness and command the world to stop being broken, or perhaps like our spiritual forefathers, place a king over us like the nations to set things right. King Jesus didn’t tell blind Bartimaeus to open his eyes to see; He healed him. We didn’t come to Jesus with wisdom and a good heart, we came broken, needy, ignorant, and wicked. He forgave us and gave us the eyes of faith.

As God’s people, we now tell those in darkness the excellencies of Jesus, the Great Light (I Peter 2:9). The God who spoke the sun into existence from nothing speaks through our lips when we proclaim the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ (IICorinthians 4:6). Yet, we experience the brokenness and death awaiting to be fully healed in the completed Kingdom (Revelation 21:1–8). Our trials and sufferings are used by God to display His majesty as well (I Peter 1:6–7).

Rejoice, O Christian! For our great God has mercies for your journey through this darkness. Possess faith in our Savior and greatly rejoice with a painful, yet hopeful, joy! We have seen the glory of this Great Light, we proclaim Him to all people, and long for His completed Kingdom with great anticipation. Let us be found faithful to display and proclaim the excellencies of Christ until our final breath.

Heavenly Father, we rejoice in the might of Your salvation in Christ! You have given us eyes to see and wisdom by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Strengthen our hearts to repent of pride and open our lips to speak Your gospel of grace. We rejoice in Your goodness and grace. Be glorified in us. Amen.