Lockdown Longing

“I stretch out my hands to You; my soul thirsts for You like a parched land.” -Psalm 143:6

My soul is fine through the week, but I feel the frustration of longing on Sunday mornings. I miss the church gathered. It brings tears to my eyes even now when I think about it. And this longing to gather exploded off the page as I read Psalm 143. Why does the Lord ever place me in situations where I feel longing? Why can’t I have what I need right now? Why wait? Why do I need to pray and wait? I pray for the church to be able to regather in safety.

Longing led Israel to weep by the waters of Babylon when in captivity, longing to be home and gathered to worship the Lord (Psalm 137). Why do I have longing to gather as a church now, pray in my longing, and still must wait? 

Even as I write this, I do not have an answer. The Bible does not answer the question, “How long, O Lord?” Yet, the Bible is clear how to wait with longing. Frustration sets in when our longings are intense, which a table of temptations is set in our hearts. When my heart is frustrated and my soul thirsts for the Lord to answer my prayers, I am tempted to become bitter, angry, demand to have what I need right now without waiting. 

Yet, my heart is to be ruled by Christ’s peace (Colossians 3:15) and no matter my circumstance to learn the secret of contentment (Philippians 4:11). I can wait to gather while intensely longing to gather through Christ who gives me strength. Waiting when my soul thirsts like a parched land longing for rain makes me weak, but He is my strength. 

Why a pandemic now? Why wait when I am spiritually thirsty now? I do not have an answer, church family. Yet, I know our Lord does not leave us to fend for ourselves. He does hear our prayers in Christ. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Our anxieties, bitterness, and anger in times of waiting are unjustified in light of the sovereignty of God in His kingdom and righteousness. 

Trusting the prosperity of the kingdom of God and His righteousness does not mean we will not suffer here. We may not live to see tomorrow. We may lose jobs or even suffer greatly. Famines and nakedness come to God’s children commanded not to be anxious. Yet, even here, our anxieties are unjustified. Not because pains will not come or things are not scary, but this from Romans 8:35: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?”

The world suffering from a pandemic and economic pains is scary, but I take my weaknesses, my anxieties, and my longings in prayer to God. He is my peace, my strength, and my song. Even if I do not get answers to my questions, or an answer I do not like, I run to Him for safety and mercy. I urge you, beloved of God, take it to the Lord in prayer.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your steadfast love. Ease our anxious hearts. How we long to gather again. How long, O Lord? Give us Your strength to endure in the waiting, to endure with rejoicing that in any circumstance we would enjoy Your peace. Bless Your church, O Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Grace When You Are Unraveling

“In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears.” Psalm 18:6

Some of our greatest griefs are when others depend on us being strong, but we’re falling apart. I have to be strong as a dad and husband, as a pastor and friend. To be able to be trusted in feels good. What happens when others depend upon me but I’m unraveling, my heart aches or has become numb, or I find little rest in my mind?

There are people who need me. If I lose sight of my Lord’s grace, my pride will let that sentence make sense. People need me. Am I sovereign over creation? Where was I when God laid the foundations of the world (Job 38:4)? Do I have secret wisdom that I alone can give? Do I alone have power that God’s creation depends on and needs?

Although the Lord uses me to be a means of grace to others, encouraging them in the faith, discipling or caring or comforting or counseling or teaching, the Lord does not need me. Rather, I need Him. No moment teaches this glorious truth of my need for God than when I am unraveling, breaking, falling apart in the midst of others depending upon me.

When others need me rather than God in and through me, that is a problem. I don’t have the energy, strength, wisdom, or ability that God alone has. If I am not dependent upon God, and celebrate that dependence on Him, then I will unravel and break apart. 

However, in your distress, in your unraveling, you call open the Lord for help. Your tearful pleas reach His ears. He doesn’t turn away from you simply because you are unraveling. He knows those depending on you to be strong are in need. He is the only Savior. He comforts, guides, counsels, corrects, teaches, loves. 

Parents who struggle, knowing you are depended upon, remember to depend upon the Lord yourself. Pray. You don’t need eloquence, just a cry for help. When you are needed at work and needed at home, remember you are in need of the Lord’s help. When life, relationships, jobs, money, whatever wears you down, depend less on those things to sustain you. God’s grace sustains you and preserves His people (Psalm 55:22).

Are you unraveling now? Weep. The Lord who will wipe away tears for the last time (Revelation 21:4) hears your cry for help from His temple. He draws near the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He mends. Are you growing weary in doing good? Remember Galatians 6 is about carrying each other’s burdens as a church family, directing our attention to depend upon God together. God has given us each other to depend upon Him, and we rejoice in our dependence upon Him together.

Heavenly Father, forgive us for believing in our own strength and ability, as well as our pride believing we are needed. You are needed Lord. For the sake of others, bless us by Your mercies. For the sake of Your name, hear our cries in times of distress, rescue, lift, and carry us. May You be glorified in and through us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

God our Present and Future Help

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” –Revelation 21:4

This verse comes to my mind often, but no more intensely than when I have the great privilege of hospital visits. We live in the time of “former things” which will one day pass away by the authority of Christ who rights all wrongs. 

On my way to see a Jesus follower suffering in a hospital room, I have a tendency to look into other rooms. I see people alone and hear them moan in pain. I am moved by the sea of people suffering without purpose, dying without hope, and lying in bed in loneliness. Current suffering finds no present help in any future relief.

The Christian’s suffering, by God’s grace, is a different experience. Not in the level of pain, but in the level of aim. Paul, who had suffered greatly, said “this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (IICorinthians 4:17). We go through the same painful experiences that are common to all people, but we consider them “light” and “momentary” because Jesus will wipe away our tears for the final time when He completes His glorious Kingdom work.

Our encouragement does not begin in the future, but is present now. For our sovereign God also has purpose to our affliction. The heat of the fire purifies us from worldliness while we are still in the world to display to the world the glory of the grace of God. God is kind to us to provide such sweet mercies when we experience the deepest of pains as our present help (Psalm 46:1). What if afflictions’ purpose is to depend upon and desire our God more? This is truly what is best for us and for His glory. 

Even the afflictions that seem to present very little blessing to us now seems light and momentary when our imagination ascends to the joys of glory awaiting us. Our afflictions are light compared to what Christ took for us, and momentary because of the hope He gives us of eternal joys.

Our heavenly Father, give Your children wisdom to see clearly the lessons You teach through trials and a vision of the eternal joys that await us when we are in pain. Remind us daily of Your grace in Christ who took our greatest affliction, receiving the greatest joy of heavenly treasures. We ask for Your mercy in Christ’s precious Name. Amen.